Let’s start with this:
There is no step-by-step guide to being beautiful; you are already are. If you don’t believe it, you need to.
As women, we compare ourselves to other women, whether it be the size two waist on Instagram or the beautiful woman embracing her curves that you pass by on the sidewalk. Either way, we often find ourselves in a state of comparing.
I know I do sometimes.
We try to find ways to become the women we compare ourselves to… or to at least look like them. From what I’ve heard on several occasions, we want to know how to look beautiful like them.
Well, this is my guide to looking effortlessly beautiful (even though you already are).
How we look on the outside is a reflection of our insides, including our personality (since our personality is a part of what’s on the inside). Show/be who you truly are, not who everyone wants you to be/thinks you are. If you have a goofy personality, let it show. If you’re super serious, let it show. If you’re a theorist and question everything in existence, let it show. The best way to let it show is with the facial expressions you make. It also shows in your posture and how you carry yourself; to be completely transparent, this is something I’m working on. My posture is definitely not the greatest and would give someone the impression that I’m insecure, even though I’m not. I’m working on straightening my posture to show the fun yet serious boss I am.
Also, of course, your personality shows simply through the clothes you decide to put on your body. The clothing you wear speaks for you, especially when you’re making a first impression; it shows your personality. Don’t hide behind dull clothes.
This could be applied to make up and clothes. This doesn’t contradict step number one (or point number one?). You can show your personality without wearing a bunch of clothes and make up that simply hide who you are, instead of embrace and show off who you are.
When you wear less, you expose more of yourself, which shows people who you are. You don’t have to completely get rid of the concealer and foundation, but you also don’t have to wear the blue eyeshadow accented by the yellow eyeliner. With clothing, my generation and even the generation before me are looked down upon for showing skin. Am I fan of booty shorts? No. Do I love a good crop top that shows a bit of tummy? Yes. In this case, less clothing shows more of the body below, and the body below has a story to tell. I hope that makes sense.
This kind of piggy backs off the ending of the last point (or step?). Often it’s the physical parts of us that we compare with other women, and it’s the physical parts we have to embrace to A) stop the comparing and B) feel our most effortlessly beautiful.
Again, it’s looked down upon when people of my generation and the generation before me show skin, whether it be a dress with a cutout, shirt with a low V, or pants with giant holes in the front. When I see people show skin (appropriately! as in, not ratchet), I think, “Okay sis, go off.” I am so happy for that person because he/she is embracing their body and physical attributes that make them unique. (still not a fan of booty shorts though; it’s good to keep some things left a mystery).
For some physical attributes that I embrace, and even show off, as much as I can: my right eye closes more than the other. I have an uneven skin tone all over my body (my hips are super, super dark, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that). Also, I wear both a US 11 in women’s and men’s shoes (don’t ask me how; we’re still trying to figure that one out). Every time I put on a pair of shoes, I show off the size of my feet.
At the end of the day, the only person who needs to be pleased with what you wear and how you look is you. That doesn’t mean walk in your job with a t-shirt and jeans on; you still have to look professional sis. When you dress for yourself, you look beyond effortlessly beautiful, and you radiate a different kind of confidence. There’s not much else to say.
For some people, when you look beautiful, you feel beautiful, and when you feel beautiful, you look beautiful.
You are beautiful.
“Girls do not dress for boys. They dress for themselves, and of course, each other. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked at all times.”Betsey Johnson
Featured image credit: Autumn Goodman