To the Guy Lacking… Something

April 2, 2020

To the Guy Lacking.. Something:

I can’t quite figure out if it’s compassion, optimism, or kindness. After getting to know you, I discovered a very negative aura (one of the many things to kill this once budding friendship).

This is the quickest I’ve ever had problems with a male friend, and I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. I’m leaning more towards a bad thing.

To be quite honest, you hurt my feelings. First, there was anger; then, there was hurt.

I got upset when you got mad at me a couple of times for going out of town. I repeatedly talked about both of those trips, but I guess you didn’t listen, which is when the hurt kicked in. A reasonable portion of my childhood problems stemmed from people not listening to me; I genuinely dislike when people don’t listen to me.

It’s one thing to forget and not remember the details. It’s another thing to not listen to anything I say then swear up and down that I never talked about it. I guess you were wrapped up in scrolling through your phone while you dwelled in your bubble of negativity.

This is exactly why I won’t open up to you and talk about the deep stuff; it would be a waste of breath and time. I don’t trust you with my heart, soul, feelings, and mind. Sometimes, when I think back to past conversations, I feel like I’ve already said too much.

Whenever I see you’re calling, I get weary. We went from three-hour phone calls to calls I want to end after five minutes.

Maybe you being wrapped up in yourself is why you’re single, which I don’t want to keep hearing about. I’m single too, but I don’t bring it up in literally every conversation.

I don’t know how to end this/have a productive conversation about it. Since we work together, I would still like to be civilized at work.

At-work you is different from at-home you, and honestly, I don’t know if I like either anymore.

-Jamilah

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