The Constant Glow Up

Sometimes, I accidentally stumble across old pictures of myself, and it always blows my mind how much I change in a short period of time. Whether the change is positive or negative is an entirely different story.

The internet deems someone with a glow up is some who undergoes an intense physical change, normally getting toned up or losing a crap ton of weight (which is incredibly toxic, but that’s a discussion for another day). I believe we’re constantly glowing up and evolving into our true being; when you’re glowing up, you’re bettering yourself.

I wanted to take a short walk down memory lane, from the time I started this blog to now.

The Beginning of the Blog

– Freshman year of college
– Cared too much about what people thought
– Proud of the denim on denim
– Self conscious about weight
– Stopped getting relaxers and began waiting on the natural hair to grow
– Adjusting to being blind and needing glasses
– Insecure about the length of my arms
– Emotionally distraught

10 Months into the Blog

– Pre-big chop
– Insecure about acne and acne scars
– Insecure about dandruff and dry scalp
– Constant swollen ear from cartilage piercing
– Still emotionally distraught
– Extra paranoid about everything and everyone around me
– Confused

A year or so with Simply Jamilah…

– Actual big chop
– Felt physically free but emotionally heavy
– Started hiding from my family
– Started fighting my inner self
– Began feeling trapped in all aspects of life
– About to get rid of the best white shirt ever (the one in the photo)

September 2018

– Insecure about literally everything
– Began hating myself again
– Felt incredibly ugly, especially because of the acne
– Tried to change the skin coloration around my mouth
– Gave up pursuing ideas and hobbies, like exploring makeup
– Began hating my lack of natural eyelashes
– Felt weird smiling/posing with my eyes open
– Confused about my style
– Confused about my purpose in life

Later that same September 2018

– Began trying to be a fashion blogger
– Started working with affiliate links
– Felt discouraged because analytics were low
– *insert everything from last image*

June 2019

– Family cruise
– Beginning of body confidence struggle
– Started hating shaving
– Started comparing myself to everyone around me, including my family
– Realized how lonely I actually am
– Realized how disproportionate my body is
– Felt unattractive and unworthy of romantic relationships
– The beginning of the end of being an introvert

August 2019

– Internalized insecurities began to shine
– Started dressing for comfort
– Started hiding the shape of my body
– Clumsiness went to the extreme
– Life priorities started to get jumbled
– Began recognizing toxic relationships
– Began habit of constantly questioning every relationship
– Beginning of Golden Girls obsession

Some time Fall 2019

– Overworked and underpaid
– Began figuring out my style (this fit = fire)
– True beginning of financial struggles
– Also beginning of financial freedom
– Found love in living alone
– Started endearing negative comments from peers
– Started questioning passions and hobbies
– Began reading for fun again

Quarantine 2020

– Anxiety on three thousand
– Reconnected with society and social issues of the world
– Became vocal, opinionated, and accepted my thoughts
– Stopped cutting my hair
– Started genuinely hating myself
– Started struggling to live with myself
– Creative rut
– School rut
– In dire need of genuine place to vent (hello podcast)
– Losing myself because I was hiding myself
– Became more self-aware

July 2021

– Still incredibly anxious (but seeking help)
– Still hating myself (but seeking help)
– Rollercoaster journey with body confidence
– Overwhelmed with life
– Curious and ready to learn
– Focusing more on my family
– Stopping myself from making the same mistakes
– Financially struggling
– Started showing a little more skin
– Struggling with balance
– Ready to travel and take on the world
– Being more vocal and not apologizing for the lack of filter
– Embracing the awkward

I’ve changed since I started this blog, and I’m still changing and evolving into who I was destined to be. Growing and glowing is a hard journey; it goes beyond the physical change. Honestly, it all starts with the mental, which is why self-care days and mental health discussions are so important.

Here’s to life and this constant rollercoaster journey of bettering ourselves and finding our true selves.

Leave a Reply

Hey beautiful!

Sign up for bi-weekly newsletters filled with exclusive content, special announcements, and even more of the opinionated Simply Jamilah!

%d bloggers like this: