Physical Touch

LOVE LANGUAGE #2

Physical touch: “People with physical touch as their love language feel loved when they receive physical signs of affection, including kissing, holding hands, cuddling on the couch, and sex. Physical intimacy and touch can be incredibly affirming and serve as a powerful emotional connector for people with this love language,” writes Julie Nguyen, contributor at mbg (mindbodygreen).

As a victim of emotional abuse, emotional connections are incredibly important to me, and I treat any interaction like it’s fragile, especially the simple physical interactions where I can feel the potential for emotional connections.

Shallowly, I used to want to be with a giant, lanky man (in a romantic way), but after experiencing hugs from a man closer to my height with more meat on his bones, my mind has changed completely. I wasn’t anywhere near dating the guy, but I realized I value physical touch too much to be picky about someone’s physical attributes.

Comfort is more important.

Receiving

How I receive someone’s physical touch is based on the vibe they give off. If you look like a creep or say things that are incredibly off-putting, I don’t want you to come anywhere near me.

When it comes to touch, the amount of comfort and trust I feel with that particular person makes their touch soothing or makes me want to run for the hills.

I consistently yearn to be touched, even if it’s as simple as a handshake.

On the other hand, considering the unbalanced relationship I have with my body, it is often harder for me to receive physical touch, and words of affirmation do nothing to provide reassurance.

Giving

I am forever and always giving hugs as a solution when I feel like there aren’t words to provide comfort.

Sometimes I give people hugs just because I need them, but I try not to make it known.


My favorite nonsexual form of physical touch is hugging. The best way to turn my frown upside down or make me feel encouraged during a time of celebration is with a hug.

The best hugs are the ones where people squeeze you extremely tight and then just hold you as you receive the silence and all the comfort the created environment provides.

Physical touch, if it comes from a good person, is one of my favorite ways to show/feel love.

about the author

Jamilah is a college graduate in her early twenties who wants to live and learn and love herself while fighting the anxiety fight.

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