Words of Affirmation

LOVE LANGUAGE #3

Words of Affirmation: “People with words of affirmation as a love language value verbal acknowledgments of affection, including frequent ‘I love you’s,’ compliments, words of appreciation, verbal encouragement, and often frequent digital communication like texting and social media engagement,” writes Julie Nguyen, a contributor at mbg (mindbodygreen).

It’s crazy because I love giving words of affirmation but will never receive and believe them. Honestly, I think this is where consistently feeling let down and my trust issues come from.

Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite when it comes to words of affirmation because I like to dish it out but can’t take it.

Receiving

I am someone who consistently needs proof and reassurance to believe any word that comes out of anyone’s mouth.

People can tell me they love me and care about me all they want, but I need proof. Whether it’s quality time or physical touch (preferably quality time), I need proof that you love me and care about me. As stated in the past, I feel most loved and cared for when people simply want to be around me without trying to change me or judge me.

I still have a lot of emotional and mental healing to do before I can truly believe any words of affirmation someone says to me.

With that, I need to work on verbal words before I can tackle my digital communication when it comes to words of affirmation.

Giving

Given that I am an incredibly blunt person and say whatever I’m thinking or feeling without hesitation, I truly mean whatever words of affirmation I say to you.

A combination of physical touch and words of affirmation is the best way I know how to pour love into someone, even without saying “I love you.”


Long story short, I don’t believe anything anyone says, especially if their words do not match their actions.

This is a love language I’m really working to improve for the sake of existing and future relationships, especially the guy I trap into being my life partner.

Kidding, of course.

about the author

Jamilah is a college graduate in her early twenties who wants to live and learn and love herself while fighting the anxiety fight.

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