A Secret

Well, if you read the last writing, it’s not really a secret. At least, to the internet. When I’m writing this, only a couple of people know this secret.

I told everyone back in Tennessee, with the exception of maybe four people, I make enough money to only work one job. Technically, I do if I solely focus on paying my bills. However, I’m entering month two of sleeping on an air mattress.

The need for furniture grows each day, especially with the work I do at my job (considering it’s interior design). I’m tired of looking at two dining chairs that are lacking a dining table.

Plus, after seeing how much space the washer and dryer takes up in the closet that’s supposed to be for my clothes, I decided to move out when my lease is up January first of next year… even though I just moved in.

Therefore, I got a second job at a grocery store, and only one person in my family knows.

I can now say I’ve worked in every industry high schoolers try to apply for.

The grocery store keeps me out of my empty apartment, which helps the overwhelm and loneliness that consumes me when I spiral in my head. This transition to a new place is decently difficult, made even harder by starting jobs where people are out the door as soon as I’m walking in. Literally, tomorrow is the last day for one of the teenagers I work with at the grocery store, and I’ve just started; this happens at literally every job I start. Sometimes, it gets to me, and I start to doubt the decisions I made. I’ve also put an intense pressure on myself to not repeat relationships of last year, but I also don’t want to be a jerk in the way I approach the relational situation I’m currently experiencing.

This past week, I did end up buying a bed, which made me feel a lot better. I’ll be at my best (temporarily) when it arrives early next week. Still, a couch and a shower curtain would add to the elation.

With the help of my new second job–which I hope to only be at for the year–I’ll be able to get everything for my apartment sooner as well as take the mini adventures I have planned for the year. I want to make traveling out of state an annual thing, and saving money from the most well-paying second job I’ve ever had will make this a lot easier.

I will eventually have to explain to my family why I keep missing phone calls, but for now, this is my little secret… that I’ve shared with the internet.

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