A Letter to My Future Husband

*If you want to listen to the audio while you read

Hey dude.

That probably wasn’t the best way to start this off, but you should already know how horrible I am at greetings and anything involving social etiquette. If you’re an Aquarius, that makes me so happy because I called it. If not, ignore this. You still make me happy… and now this is just awkward.

Anyway, hey. When I’m writing this, I haven’t met you yet, but I love you anyway. I can’t wait to meet you and share the rest of my life with you, every up and down. For now, single, 19-year-old Jamilah is writing this. Hopefully it goes well; although, I feel like this is going to be a warning letter mixed with a bunch of thank yous for stuff I hope you did… or will do. I don’t know. With me currently being in school, my brain is kind of fried, so probably none of this will make sense. Fingers crossed it does though.

To start, I guess, I have questions. How did we get here? Did I accidentally belch in your face? I hope not. Did I accidentally take your cart at Target? If so, sorry. Were you in one of my clubs, and I just didn’t know it? Also, why me? I was kind of preparing to become the lady with twelve dogs because the right guys didn’t show interest in me. Of course, there were guys who asked for my number and used cheesy tactics to try to get in my pants, but we both know none of them was the right guy. You are. Being the amazing soul you are, I can’t help but wonder why me? I am extremely weird, slightly insane, and definitely crazy; it’s up to you to decide if it’s a good crazy or a bad crazy, so again I’ll ask: why me? When did you realize I was The One? I’m not complaining or anything because you are the most perfect person for me, and I freaking love you; I’m just curious. You know how nosy and curious I am.

If you didn’t know that, you’ll figure it out soon because you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life; divorce is not an option. It’s not as scary as it sounds; I promise I’m not that bad. We’re married, and we are one. Even though we’re married, there may be some things you don’t know about me, but I definitely think you should know since we’ll be living together until we expire. First off, this a major warning: I cry a lot. Like, I cried when the tarantula living outside my window in my college dorm died. His name was Jeffrey by the way; I would’ve had a funeral for him if I knew where he was. Anyway, I am a very sensitive and emotional person, so please take my feelings into consideration. Sometimes I cry when I’m angry, and most of the time, I’m angry when my health is in a bad place. I hate having health issues, and high blood pressure and hearing loss run in my family; good luck dealing with me when those times come. I’m already praying for you. Since we’ll be sharing a bed together, hopefully an extremely comfortable one, I just want to remind you that I am human– I fart and belch like everyone else; mine just might be more obnoxious, especially at night. I’m apologizing in advance. Speaking of sharing a bed and farts, I am sorry for what I say and do while I’m on my period. It’s not you, it’s me, and sometimes things get a little crazy. Again, I’m praying for you.

Communication is a huge part of making relationships work, and I’m sure you know by now how horrible I am at texting, especially when it comes to initiating conversation. If I overcome this issue by the time we’re hitched, then great! If not, just know I’m working on it, but it takes time for me to do pretty much anything. Kind of going along with communication, social cues and socializing and anything involving the word “social” is not my strong suit. Thank you for being patient with me when I struggle with distinguishing what’s a joke and what’s not. Trust is another huge thing in working relationships, and since you made it this far, that means I have complete trust in you. Please don’t break it, and please trust me too; I will never, never, never let you down.

Moving on…

Congrats! You survived my mood swings and intense cravings and decided you still want to be with me. By the way, thank you for giving in and cooking alfredo every time I craved it. I’m glad you could look beyond my make up less face to discover the gem you married. Thank you for being there for me when I battle my insecurities, including every time I point out an exposed pimple or think I gained twenty pounds when I skip one workout; you make me feel more beautiful than I already believe I am, even when I’m too lazy to shave. We all know I am one of the clumsiest people to exist; I love how you catch me when I fall without a single scowl or glare or any harsh judgment and sign of anger and embarrassment. Does that even make sense? I hope it does. Anyway, you accept all of me for who I am, and instead of forcing me to change, you join me on my journey of growth; it makes me fall in love with you over and over again every single day.

To add to the long list of things I love about you, I love your relationship with God, and I continuously thank Him for sending me you. I love how you encourage me to go to church and read my Bible when I come up with excuses not to, which we both know is a rare but possible occurrence. There is no one better for me than you. Your massages are THE BEST; I love how you give them without any complaints. Nineteen-year-old me is smiling just thinking about them. Just thought I’d add that in there. Also, I love your smile. I’m obsessed with your eyes. Everything about the inside and outside of you is my favorite thing. There’s honestly no one like you.

Ever since I was in middle school, I constantly daydreamed about what our life would be like together. I don’t have to wonder anymore. We’re married now, which means snuggles every night, even when we’re mad at each other.  A day can’t go by without expressing our love for each other, even if we’re on the worst rollercoaster or dealing with a mega-storm. Marriage takes commitment and work, and you have to promise to never give up. This is a promise you can never break. I get to share even more of myself with you, and I will never give you up. You mean too much to me for me to let you go.

I am currently single, but by the time you hear this, I’ll be wondering how I lived without you. It makes me so happy Rixton approved of our relationship; I don’t know what I would do if you were a cat person. You are it for me. You’re my person. There’s no one more perfect for me than you.

I’m happy I get to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you, hubs.

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