I don’t believe in Santa. I figured I get that out of the way before you continue reading and think I still believe in Santa. When I was in Kindergarten, it was shoved into my brain that Santa isn’t real, but if you still believe in Santa, you do you.
Though I don’t believe in Santa, I do still love the idea of writing Christmas wishlists, and I thought it would be fun to write my Christmas wishlist as a letter to Santa.
How’s it going? It’s been a while. I know I’m nineteen now, but you’re never too old to send a wishlist to the jolly guy in the North Pole. Am I right? I hope I’m right, and I hope I’m sending this to the right person; I hope you’re one of the few gems in the world who doesn’t discriminate people based on their age, race, sexuality, gender, religious beliefs, and all the other stupid reasons people discriminate. If so, you’re not a good role model; I don’t know if sending you this letter would be good on my part.
Sorry, I got sidetracked for a second; I’m still sending this letter, just promise you’re a good person and the whole jolly thing isn’t a facade.
Anyway, let’s get into the meat of this letter so you can get back to telling your elves what to do. This is what I want for Christmas; you’ll be happy to know I’m done asking for Barbie cars. Although, a real car would be fabulous. Okay, I’m done getting sidetracked. Here’s the list you’ve been waiting for:
- A 3-hole punch (I’m in college now, and this is just one of those things I need to adult better; also, I’m tired of constantly dropping my papers and making a fool of myself when I scramble to pick them up)
- Crazy Rich Asians DVD (it is a beautiful movie, and I stan a primarily Asian cast; you do know what “stan” means, right?)
- Doug the Pug merch (it could be as simple as an eraser; I’m not picky)
- Ancestry DNA Kit
- Magnetic Golden Girls bookmarks (I’m not sure if you know this since it’s been a while, but I developed a love for the Golden Girls when I came to college; I follow a blog dedicated to them, which shows my dedication to the show. I’m serious about this one Santa)
- Spread Love shirt (it’s a need, just like the 3-hole punch)
- Film for my Polaroid camera
- $3,306 for next semester (we both know college is not cheap and can be a financial burden; help a struggling student out)
- A bunch of thrifted men’s sweatshirts and flannels (they are so perfect for this time of year, and men’s clothing is so much more comfortable than women’s. You could honestly give me a couple of items from your closet Santa, and I’ll be perfectly okay with it)
- A trip (or several) to the movies (there are so many movies I want to see and haven’t yet, such as Wreck-It Ralph 2 (it’s not because I’m a little kid; it’s because of the Easter eggs), Instant Family, Bohemian Rhapsody, The Hate U Give, the list goes on)
- A massage (I’ve been extremely tense for I don’t know how long and would love a massage; I don’t have a boyfriend to give me one, so asking you is Plan B)
Of course, food and clothes are also really great gifts.
Everything previously mentioned is materialistic; material gifts are great, don’t get me wrong, but they’re just items. If you can’t get those, I’m completely content with that (except the 3-hole punch), but I would love if you could give everyone in my family, my beautiful best friend, and the genuinely wonderful four friends I’ve made in college one of the best Christmases ever. The aforementioned people had to deal with me this year, and for that alone, they deserve whatever their hearts desire for Christmas.
Thanks, Santa. It means a lot to me. I’ll talk to you next year (or whenever I send a thank you card, whichever one happens first).