March 3, 2019

Sometimes, my best ideas are the spontaneous ones. For example, My Very Public Diary was incredibly spontaneous, and it seems to be working really well for my sanity (and sometimes provides entertainment for others).

This is kind of like that.

I introduce to you Simply Jamilah’s Simple Rants.

This may seem like an extension of My Very Public Diary, but it isn’t (I don’t think). My Very Public Diary is more for embarrassing or awkward moments or a place to vent when I am temporarily overcome with an intense emotion or thought. Whereas Simple Rants is more of me ranting about stuff that’s been on my mind for more than a few days and needs to be let out somewhere. My Very Public Diary goes up at the start of every month, and Simple Rants go up the day they are typed. My Very Public Diary is organized by day, but Simple Rants are literally word vomit and have the potential to make no sense; they are published the day my brain decides to spit them out. My goodness, that turned into a mini compare and contrast essay very quickly.

Anyway, I hope all of that makes sense. Without further ado, it’s time for Simple Rant #1.

This is about to be all over the place, just to warn you in advance.

First off, I feel like I’m holding back hardcore in a particular friendship. Like, I really want to open up to this particular person, but he’s throwing around some weird vibes. I don’t know where he’s at… like at all. Like if he has deeper feelings, I wish he would let me know. If this is strictly a platonic friendship, I would also totally love to know that instead of constantly guessing. I’m honestly very confused right now, but I don’t want to be. I want to open up completely and spend hours unleashing everything I want to talk about with this particular person that’s been pent up for weeks, if you know what I mean. Like, when I look at this person, I want to tell him and show him who I really am, not the little bits and pieces he sees every week. Even then, I hardly speak directly to him because I just don’t know where we stand. Essentially, I’m trying to avoid a broken heart, but I also really want to spend hours of my life just talking to this person and allowing them to get to know me on a deeper level. I just don’t know where we stand, but I wish I did. I’m for sure not scared to bring up the conversation, but when other girls are brought up, I immediately shut down. It’s quite a frustrating predicament.

Also, I would love to normalize the conversation of periods. Like, why are people so scared to talk about periods? Girls are scared to whip out a pad/tampon in front of boys, and boys get very immature and weird when it comes to the conversation of periods (not all boys, but some; shout out to the guys who give their girls food and massages when they’re on their periods). Periods are such a normal thing girls have to go through (unfortunately); I feel like everyone should know that by now, and people should be understanding when others say they can’t make it to class/work/the gym because it feels like their period is slowly killing them.

Another thing that should be normalized is women growing hair in other places beside their head. Honestly, I hate waxing my upper lip. It’s annoying and kind of useless since it grows back very quickly, but I know doing it will make me look less like a man. I saw this in one of Michaela Coel’s captions on Instagram a couple of weeks ago, and since that day, this topic has been stuck in my head.

Don’t get me started on vaginal hair. When I was in high school, most of the disturbing conversations I heard from boys involved not being with a girl who wasn’t shaved down there, which is absolutely trash. I have read and heard from many sources that it is actually healthy for girls to not shave down there. To put it in short, there is less likelihood of bacteria getting in, which reduces the possibility of contracting any disease down there. So to all the boys who prefer a clean slate down there, please start thinking about your girl’s health instead of what pleases you aesthetically down south. Again, we need to normalize girls growing hair in other places than the top of their head, including armpits and legs. The more you shave, the faster it grows back, and I think I speak for most girls when I say shaving is absolutely annoying.

Diverting from the hair talk, I need friends to study with. We have group study rooms on my campus, and I would love to actually utilize that with at least one friend I’ve made on campus. This past week, I learned I am more likely to get school work done when I am out of my dorm room and around other people I know. When it comes to completing work for my major, I haven’t been particularly motivated this semester. I would write for Simply Jamilah (like right now) or plan different articles for Simply Jamilah instead of working on a project for my major. Not gonna lie, now is an example of that, but I am going to eventually get it done; I always do. It’s just a matter of when, how fast, and the quality of the project. I did spend a good portion of the day doing school work, but those were for general education courses and an organization I’m a part of. I literally did nothing for my major class today because the motivation just isn’t there; I literally open my binder, yawn, then shut it. However, when I’m around other people who are working, I am way more likely to work efficiently on stuff for my major. It’s 11:14 pm EST right now, and I’m literally planning on waking up extra early to get to class and work on my project because I know there will be at least one other person there, even if it’s someone I don’t particularly get along with– at least it’s a familiar face. Again, I just need a group of people to study with and do my work around. It’s more fun, and I am more likely to work efficiently. When I am surrounded by ambitious people getting their school work done, I strive to be ambitious and get my school work done. Again, it’s very frustrating.

Whew. I think I can breathe. My head already feels clearer. This was good for me. I just yawned, which means it’s time for me to go to bed. Until next time.

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