Be Single

April 14, 2019

This is not me telling you to break up with or divorce your significant other. Stay together. Love each other. Keep going (unless you’re iffy and stuff’s going south; get out of there if that’s the case; don’t stay in toxic relationships).

If you’re single and craving a romantic relationship (I use the term “romantic relationship” because “relationship” alone could be applied to family, friends, colleagues, etc.) or desperately seeking the attention of your crush, this is for you. If someone worthy of your love and affection comes along and treats you well, then happily delve into that romantic relationship.

Anyway, this is about being single and embracing your singleness. There are five major benefits of being single (keep in mind this is being written by a sleep deprived college student who has never been in a romantic relationship):

1. Any money you would spend on a date with someone, you can spend on a date with yourself. Dates can definitely be a hit or miss, especially in the beginning when you might not know your partner that well. The money you would spend on those dates with someone else could easily be spent on a date with yourself or a self-care day. Some date ideas with yourself could be doing a hobby you haven’t done in a while (like reading a new book or upcycling thrifted items), seeing a movie with yourself (I promise it’s not as lonely as it sounds), getting a much needed massage, the list goes on and on. You could even go on the dates you would with a partner but would only have to pay for one instead of two (something about that sentence seems grammatically incorrect). If you’re not up for that, you’ll just straight up be saving money, which is always nice. All in all, the longer you wait to date, the more money you could be saving.

2. It’s one less “job” you have to worry about. I wasn’t sure what other word to use besides “job.” I have heard countless times that relationships are work, and it takes a lot of work to better them and keep them smooth sailing. I don’t really know how to explain this without it sounding bad. If the relationship is serious, you are literally going through life with someone else. A good portion of your time and energy is spent on/with someone else, and there are several moments where you have to tend to your partner’s needs and wants. Everything that is happening in his/her’s personal life, whether good or bad, has the potential to fall on you. Not only do you have to deal with the stuff going on in your life, but you also have to deal with the stuff going on your partner’s life, which can be quite a task. Some people love it (if they didn’t, they probably wouldn’t/shouldn’t be in that relationship), but it can get quite overwhelming. When your single, it’s one less task to have to manage– one less “thing” you have to worry about, essentially. I don’t know if any of that made sense, but I hope you kind of understood what I was trying to say.

3. It’s easier to be spontaneous. A huge part of any relationship (not just the romantic ones) is communication; it’s kind of difficult to have a successful relationship without decent communication. Part of that communication is telling your partner where you’re going, who you’re going with, and all this other stuff (kind of like when you’re a teenager trying to get permission from your parents to leave the house). From what I’ve learned and seen, partners like to know everything that’s going and everywhere you’re going, and sometimes that makes it harder to be spontaneous. This doesn’t make your partner controlling; honestly, I think it’s a good thing. It’s a controlling relationship when your partner says you can’t go anywhere without making it sound like a suggestion and not giving you a logical reason to not go (I have no idea how much sense that made). When you’re single, you don’t have to tell anyone anything (except a close friend or someone you have a good familial relationship with in case something happens). You can take that random late night trip to Walmart or book a last minute trip to Six Flags with your very single best friend. Spontaneity is at an all time high when you’re single.

4. There’s less anger and sorrow and hurt. We all know there is no such thing as a perfect relationship (perfectly imperfect– yes; just perfect– no). With the imperfections of a relationship come disagreements, whether silent or full-on verbal arguments (side note: I strive to be a part of a romantic relationship where if things get too heated, we just turn away to cool down instead of doing/saying something we’d regret; I’m not looking to hash it out with anyone). With these disagreements, especially the more serious ones, comes the potential feelings of anger, hurt, and/or sorrow. These feelings are inevitable, whether you’re single or in a romantic relationship, but I think you might feel them less when you are single. Part of being in a union is dealing with these moments of disagreement. Part of having a crush is running the risk of the other person not feeling the same way, which could lead to hurt and sorrow. As someone who is single, you would be likely to experience these feelings less than those who are boo’d up (was that cringy?).

5. Developing friendships is so much easier. A good partner is someone who looks out for you, and this includes looking out for the people you surround yourself with, especially if that person is of the opposite sex. Partners like to give their input on certain matters, and the friends you have/make is one of those matters. This can be kind of difficult if you’re looking to be friends with someone or develop a friendship with an acquaintance, but your partner is against the budding friendship. I’ve heard several arguments start because of this issue, and I’ve seen people lose genuine friends because their partner didn’t approve. When you’re single, you don’t really have to worry about this. You can find a friend or acquaintance in whoever you want, which is really nice, especially if you’re someone who likes meeting new people. Sure you have to learn on your own who is for you and against you in a friendship, but you won’t have someone in your ear telling you not to hang around someone.

Those are the five things I find beneficial about being a single Pringle, but there are for sure benefits about being in a romantic relationship, which is a topic we’ll get to another day (when I have some slight experience).

If you are anxiously waiting to meet the love of your life, know that he/she is on the way. Your perfect match will come along at the perfect time. It’s a simple game of patience, and while you wait, you can better yourself.

There’s a certain contentness (pretty sure that’s not a real word) that comes with being single. While you wait for that special someone, embrace your singleness.

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