I don’t know if this sounds incredibly blunt, but being a closeted blogger is kind of hard.
By closeted, I mean a large portion of my family and people that I’m not sure I consider close friends (or even acquaintances) don’t know about this here blog (as far as I know).
People who don’t know about Simply Jamilah, especially my family, always assume I’m doing nothing productive like watching YouTube videos, etc. when I’m actually being productive and working on blog posts. The easiest way to defend my case when I’m called unproductive and lazy would be to simply tell them about my blog, but I can’t.
Because I’m super freaking scared.
With Simply Jamilah growing and getting more recognition, I want to share it with my family. At the same time, most of what I write on here I’ve never mentioned to my family. It’s pretty much the digital version of my personality– the part they don’t see or hear about; I don’t know how they’d react.
Also, I come from a very Christian family. I, myself, am a Christian, but some of my ideals are kind of different from those of my family. For example, a few of my Christian family members are not a fan of marriages that are not between a man and a woman (if that makes sense); I, on the other hand, don’t care who marries who (I mean that in a nice way). This is my thinking: it’s not my life, so it’s not my business; all I can do is show anyone and everyone as much love as their willing to accept. I don’t really want to get into all of that right now; that’s a blog post for a different day. Just know the difference between me and some of them is enough for me to be scared about telling them about my blog.
There’s also the inevitable financial talk that scares me. I can see the questions now: “How is this benefiting you financially?” (Good question). “How much is this costing you?” ($96 per year for the premium plan; $18 per year for the domain). “Can you afford this? How are you paying for this?” (I make a way).
I have such an immense fear of their reaction and their questions; I’m not prepared for questions. Jeez Louise, I am for sure not ready for the questions. When I’m home during the summer and stay with my family, I get very anxious about writing around them. My fingers aren’t exactly the quietest when I type. As I’m writing this, they’re in the next room, and my heart is beating rapidly; every time they walk in the room while I’m writing, I quickly switch to YouTube. Normally, I wait until late at night or when I’m home alone to work on my blog posts.
Keeping all the joy and excitement concealed when there’s a great response to a blog post is also pretty freaking difficult. Any time someone likes one of my blog posts or leaves a comment, my heart literally fills with so much joy and happiness; I want to share it with my family, but I can’t because I’m in the closet about my blog.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to fear. Fear of their reaction. Fear of being judged and ridiculed, especially by those aforementioned “friends.” Fear of having to shut it down because of disapproval. I know I shouldn’t be afraid, but unfortunately, I am.
Q: How should I tell my family about Simply Jamilah?