Public Letters

To the Possibly Self-Centered Friend

October 7, 2019

*Preface: these letters are not meant to bash anyone. I was writing a letter to a friend back in Nashville, and I realized why I treasure writing letters– they’re therapeutic. There are certain people I want to say a lot to without hurting their feelings (and I hope these letters don’t), but I think a letter is the perfect outlet for me. This might not be a good decision, but I think I will benefit from this; welcome to my therapy session, aka, my Public Letters.

To the possibly self-centered friend:

I appreciate the one time you were my shoulder to cry on and your offer to be my safe light, sort of, when I walk around in the middle of the night. Honestly, you’re a great, supportive friend.

But there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you– you’re a bit self-centered. I find myself constantly being interrupted by you, and that annoys me to no end. People I don’t consider my friends are the ones who consistently interrupt me, and I guess I never expected it from you. But here we are.

Wait, do I sound self-centered writing this last paragraph?

This is something I’ve wanted to say for the longest time but haven’t: I am not changing who I am because you are insecure. You don’t have to be included in every conversation I have with people because you’re insecure and think I’m talking about you. No offense, but not everything is about you. I should be able to have conversations with people and you not be involved. Also, I kind of think you constantly tell me you love me and want me to say it back every time because you are insecure; you need validation that I’m not going to leave.

Here’s the thing: you never know what’s going to happen. I’m not going to drop you as a friend in half a second or anything like that. At the same time, I could die any moment, or you could die any moment. Life is too short to worry about the future and constantly seek validation.

Also, I genuinely appreciate you trying to be a supportive friend, but I’m not to the point where I am 100 percent ready to tell the entire campus about my blog. I’m almost ready to share it with the world, but not yet; I thought you understood that.

I do genuinely love you as a friend, and I don’t want you to mess up your life because of your insecurities that make you a bit self-centered.

-Jamilah


Featured image credit: Kate Macate

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