originally written: August 28, 2019
revamped: February 11, 2022
“Girls do not dress for boys. They dress for themselves, and of course, each other. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked at all times.”Betsey Johnson
As women, we compare ourselves to other women, whether it be the size two waist on Instagram or the beautiful woman embracing her curves that you pass by on the sidewalk. Either way, we often find ourselves in a state of comparing.
I can easily admit I do.
After (or while) we compare ourselves, we try to find a way to look like those women.
We try to find a way to look beautiful.
Outer Equals Personality
Style is finding a way to express your personality with your clothes, makeup, nails, hair, etc.; it’s a reflection of your insides and introduces you before you have the chance to open your mouth.
Show/be who you truly are, not who everyone wants you to be/thinks you are. If you have a goofy personality, let it show. If you’re super serious, let it show. If you’re a theorist and question everything in existence, let it show.
Besides it showing in your clothes and beauty choices, it can show in the facial expressions you make. During a time where we’re wearing masks, you can still show your personality & make faces with your eyes. This is something I’m accidentally good at.
Embrace Physical Features
Often it’s the physical parts of us that we compare with other women, and it’s the physical parts we have to embrace to A) stop the comparing and B) feel absolutely beautiful.
With clothing, my generation and even the generation before me are looked down upon for showing skin. Am I fan of booty shorts? No. Do I love a good crop top that shows a bit of tummy? Yes. In this case, less clothing shows more of the body below, and the body below has a story to tell.
When I see people [appropriately] showing skin, I think, “Okay sis, go off.” I am so happy for them because they are embracing the body and physical attributes that make them unique.
These are some physical attributes I try to embrace & not compare:
– my astigmatism does something weird with my right eye
– uneven skin tone all over my body (including my face)
– big nose with the line
– boobs to stomach ratio
– wearing the same size shoes as several men in my life
Dress For Yourself
At the end of the day, the only person who needs to be pleased with what you wear and how you look is you. That doesn’t mean walk in your job with a t-shirt and jeans on; you still have to look professional sis. When you dress for yourself, you look beyond effortlessly beautiful, and you radiate a different kind of confidence.
There’s not much else to say.
Falling in love with your inner & outer being is not a strictly upward journey. There are days or long periods of time where you may be unsatisfied or unhappy with how you look.
When you look beautiful, you feel beautiful, and when you feel beautiful, you look beautiful.
There is no step-by-step guide to being beautiful; you are already are. If you don’t believe it, you need to.