To be honest, I was numb this day. I tried my best to focus on the day I had ahead of me, but all I could think about was Uvalde, Texas and the overwhelming fear & heartbreak everyone is feeling.
This is me faking it until I make it.
3 am – alarm goes off
- Worked the night before at my second job so I gave myself ten more minutes of sleep
3:18 am – finally get out of bed
- Lol, does it look like I got any good sleep? Enough sleep?
- Threw everything down when I got home the night before so I had to take some time to put it all up
3:30 am – exercise time
- Currently finishing a month of growwithjo
3:42 am – take iron pill
- Started doing this at the beginning of the month to help with my iron deficiency; thought it was about time I start taking small strides towards improving my physical health
3:45 am – Jemele Hill & get ready
- Listen to an episode of Jemele Hill is Unbothered every morning while getting ready
- Outfit details (excluding uniform shirt):
- Bandanna: Walmart
- Bandanna pants: Rue 21
4:12 am – pack bag for day
- In my bag:
- Black notepad with to do list for the day
- Mini notebook for notes/ideas
- My favorite cheap Bic pens
- White secondhand sandals for afterwork
- Black blazer from Forever 21 for afterwork (didn’t work out well)
- Leftovers for lunch
- Fictional book
- Strawberry Banana Body Armor (the superior flavor)
- 32 ounces of water in my “MALE TEARS” water bottle (made by my friend when I was sad about many men)
4:17 am – another alarm goes off
- This alarm tells me I need to run out the door.
4:23 am – actually leave for work
4:47 am – arrive at work
- Scarfed down homemade white chocolate macadamia nut cookies
5 am to 2 pm – work shift
- Put my jacket on top of the lockers & screwed up my jacket
- A woman came up to me and said “you’re exactly who I was looking for,” which scared the crap out of me, to give me her many business cards.
- Realized the economy is falling apart and people with poor attendance are on the cusp of losing their jobs
- Left work feeling like my best wasn’t good enough, considering I was put on a project the day before the deadline and had to undo two previous days worth of work. Then I felt frustrated with the way everything worked out before ultimately feeling like I’ve disappointed my boss.
- Spontaneously decided to get a Baconator when I left so I would feel better (it worked!)
3:01 pm – arrive at therapy
- Always sit in my car and take a small nap under the trees
4:15 pm – therapy
- Got fruit snacks to celebrate our one year anniversary, lol
- Talked about control, which is my word of the year
6:02 pm – return home
- Stood outside and watched my neighbors’ dogs tease each other while my neighbors and I made small talk and they smoked/vaped
- Found out a group of four college boys moved into the apartment next door to my office
6:56 pm – make pasta
- Took the edge off with a little bit of White Chocolate Strawberry Cream Moonshine while the pasta cooked
7:17 pm – eat pasta & watch YouTube
7:35 pm – get a little work done
- Printed an outline for something I’ve been working on, wrote lists, planned my Thursday out (tentatively, of course)
8:13 pm – shower
- Switched to night showering because it takes a little longer to get to work in the morning so some things had to be rearranged
8:25 pm – journal time
8:32 pm – sleep!
- Inspired by my Honorary Momma to start sleeping with a fan on; that combined with holding something gives me the BEST sleep
- Set my alarm to 3 am
- Made it to bed 45 minutes earlier than normal (woot woot!)