Operating at a Different Pace

I’ve just finished my third week at my new location for the same job I’ve been doing, and it amazes me the differences I can see within myself.

Several people warned me that the pace of my new location is a lot slower than the fast environment I resided in for nine months, and the slower pace of my new environment has done wonders for my brain.

Even when I’m stressed out because I get confused when I learn new things, I still feel some sort of peace of mind, something I didn’t feel/experience before.

I am both able to get my work done and get lost in my head–in a very healthy way. Past memories resurface, and I find myself coming to terms with things I probably shouldn’t have said or done; I’m learning to not regret. The saying “everything happens for a reason” becomes more apparent with each memory that resurfaces to aide in not feeling the regret.

Of course, every place has its pros with its cons. My old store, despite the poor leadership and her minion, as some people call him, was like a family when it came to my team. The store as a whole failed to recognize each other and provide the necessary support and respect to keep a good system going.

The store I’m at now is the complete opposite. Overall, the store makes you feel like you’re apart of something. Even on the frustrating days when swearing like a sailor is all people seem to do, there’s still a sense of unity and kindness; people’s backs are protected. However, my specific team feels like a group of misfits who need money and work because it’s required to get the money. There’s a big lack of respect and unity; I’ve resorted back to being my high school self, but in a much healthier way, as I watch chaos and unnecessary drama/gossip unfold.

I sit back and observe and understand that where I am and what I’m doing is temporary, and despite the appearance of the cons, it’s a good temporary place to be. I don’t want to get close to anyone to avoid getting hurt again, firstly, but I also don’t have much in common with anyone, beyond the surface level stuff like being heavily invested in the MCU.

This is truly a phase of my life that’s focused on me, bettering myself, and lifting the weights that have been on my shoulders for months, if not years. To be honest, the absence of attractive boys has definitely been beneficial in that arena too.

I’ve documented my thoughts and progress during the first couple of weeks of experiencing my new environment.

LINKS MENTIONED: episode 61

about the author

Jamilah is a college graduate in her early twenties who wants to live and learn and love herself while fighting the anxiety fight.

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