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Doing Everything Alone

It’s no secret I got wrapped up in a friendship that completely destroyed me. Well, for a short period of time (though I do sometimes get triggered by a sandwich fast food restaurant).

I mapped out all the things we could do as friends over the next few years because I was so excited and caught up in the intimacy of our small connection. I now realize that is one of my most well-meaning toxic traits.

As I began grieving the loss and reeling from the pain, Miss Independent was born. As much as I struggle and cry, Miss Independent was the best birth of 2022.

Yes, it’s fun doing things with genuine friends and family members you like being around, but experiences hit different when you do them alone.

Extrovert or not, you learn things about yourself and about life when you embark on things you love, alone. Yes, it feels good to see your favorite band with one of your best friends, but imagine how much more fun and freeing it is to experience it by yourself.

As the year sloooowly winds down (though a lot more can be done in the next three months; you never know what could happen), I’ve been thinking about everything I’ve done by myself for the first time.

Move & Pay Big Girl Bills

Of course, I didn’t do the actual moving process by myself–not with my sleeper sofa. I also did seek a bit of help when hanging up all of the major artwork and wall décor because, honestly, I didn’t want to do it.

However, I did most of the interior decorating and redecorating by myself. I pay all of the bills in full by myself. I fight the roaches by myself; this is an unfortunate development I don’t want to talk about. I hear all the creepy noises and go on random need-a-can-opener runs by myself. Everything involving living my cozy, beginning-of-life life is done by myself.

Travel Across the Country

Shall we throw it back to my long-awaited beautiful California trip?

Travelling by yourself has the potential to teach you so many things about yourself. What do you do when it’s time for your survival instincts to kick in? How are you going to transport to different venues throughout your destination? What’s important to have and what do you leave behind at your abode? How much do you trust the people around you, and what does this say about your trust issues?

These are just the standard questions for the logistical aspect. There’s still the mental aspect of it and how the liberation you experience affects your mental well-being.

Go to a Concert

It’s no secret my first solo concert was Dua Lipa, which was such a wonderful Valentine’s Day experience. I felt so carefree and was not embarrassed with any dancing I did, and I think knowing that I would never see the people around me again made it easier.

Yes, there is a sense of comfort with going to a concert with a friend. For me, no matter how much I know they won’t judge me, I still hold back with fully freeing myself and living in the moment because I know they still know me, at the end of the day.

I hope that makes sense.


Those are just a few examples of things I’ve done alone this year, but I consider them some of the bigger things. I thought about adding going to a funeral by myself for the first time, but that’s not something I want to dive into for this writing.

There’s a sense of security when you do things with someone, but there’s a sense of liberation when you do things by yourself.

At some point in your life, I highly encourage you to do one major (and you define what “major” means to you) thing by yourself.

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