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The Burn Out…

*long, heavy sigh*

I’m tired and overwhelmed and tired of being overwhelmed.

Any time I hear about burn out, it’s an influencer or content creator saying the pressures they’ve put on themselves has led to burn out.

Well, I am just a regular shmegular retail employee, and I am burned out… with so many things. Literally everything in my life that isn’t this blog or my podcast or JOF has me burned out and tired.

I’m soooo tired.

I’m tired of the half-assed friendships. The friendships where I only hear about the other person’s problems, and mine don’t get acknowledged. Then they get upset with me because I ignore their texts as a way of standing up for myself and protecting my energy. I’ve reached the point where these aren’t friendships; these are people mistaking my kindness and cordiality as a friendship. I understand needing someone to talk to, but I wish they would understand I have my own issues and life occurrences to worry about. I can’t be there for people who aren’t there for me. I am done.

I’m tired of my poor work environment, which is expected when it comes to retail. I can’t keep transferring around to escape the chaos that comes with people complaining about a new manager who doesn’t quite understand the importance of empathy. It’s the same routine of a power struggle and someone talking about someone else instead of simply telling that person how they feel; I was the middle man between my divorced parents for years, and I don’t want nor need that same energy with my job. Considering I work two jobs, there’s only one job I’m tired of dealing with; believe it or not, I go to my second job to have fun. I work my butt off while running on an average of 5 hours of sleep, and recently, I’ve been consistently disrespected, talked down to, and told I’m incapable of doing my job—the job I’ve done for over a year.

I’m tired of a coworker speaking for me as if she knows me, as if we’re the same person. She knows literally nothing about me besides the basics from when I first started. I’m ten years younger than her and have more life experiences because unlike her, I’m not scared of life. I can’t keep pretending like I care about the miniscule things she complains to me about; all it does is annoy me more, especially in an environment where I’m constantly having to prove I can do my job and need to focus on what I’m doing.

There’s more people I’m tired of in both work environments, but speaking for me is my biggest pet peeve. My time in retail has taught me it’s the easiest way to set me on fire.

I’m tired of my wardrobe. I am an unashamed serial outfit repeater and believe in the ideology of buying quality clothes instead of wasting my money on fast fashion. I’ve had half the items in my closet for at least five years (I’m looking at you XXL Jersey Mike’s shirt; love you). However, this kind of living means I don’t have the proper amount of clothes for each season, so I overwear the crap out of my clothes to the point where they shrink or permanently stink (hi sweat), which is where the burn out comes in. Plus, I don’t have the financial stability (which I’m also tired of) to get the clothing necessities I need, like a real bra.

Burn out is such a common human thing, and I don’t know how I feel about experiencing it at twenty-three.

Does this simply mean something new is coming my way?

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