I feel like I should properly introduce myself.
Wait, let me restart.
I feel like I should properly introduce the 2023 version of myself.
Actually, I’m not the best at introducing myself (probably one of the many reasons I struggle with making friends and only admire strangers from afar). Anyway, my name is Jamilah (juh-mee-luh), and I’m going to try my best to not make this sound like a LinkedIn profile.
For starters, if I had to describe myself using the Golden Girls, I would say I’m a Rose with a heavy desire to have the attitude and one-liners of a Dorothy.
I’m in my early twenties, and I’ve graduated from college. I graduated with a Bachelor’s of Science in interior architecture and a minor in radio & film production. With my degree, I am an interior design assistant at a small business, dreaming big. When I’m not busy doing administrative work, I am creating. For me, creating is writing and documenting my life and making my voice heard, whether it be on this blog or its adjoining podcast. Both platforms really allow me to showcase every authentic part of myself, and though they involve the easily accessible world of the internet, I don’t feel judged. I am not trying to be an influencer or a vlogger or any of those things. Simply Jamilah is literally about being myself, going through this thing called life, and falling in love with the beauty that lies within.
When I’m not working or writing, I try to continue educating myself in a way that doesn’t involve paying a racist institution thousands of dollars for a master’s degree that has nothing to do with my bachelor’s degree. Instead, I read books and watch YouTube videos and healthily scroll on Instagram (love @shityoushouldcareabout). Speaking of watching things, I do watch an unruly amount of non-educational YouTube videos, movies, and television shows, but that’s nothing compared to how much music I listen to on a daily basis. When it comes to music, I’m more connected to songs with great lyrics… like how ninety-eight percent of AJR’s lyrics describe what I’m feeling, experiencing, thinking, etc. (I love them so much I flew across the country to make sure I saw them live on my birthday).
Since my birthday has kind of been brought up, I feel like now is a good time to mention I am a June gemini. Like a stereotypical gemini, I’m very all or nothing. I’m either fully myself or an empty void of a human working to be who someone else wants me to be for the temporary amount of time I’m in their presence. I’m either talking a lot or silent. I’m either incredibly emotional or feel nothing. I’m either fully committed or mentally already gone.
Though, because I am so close to the start of cancer season, I’m incredibly emotional like a cancer. Once the waterworks begin, the only way to make them end is by going to sleep. Even if I stop crying, there’s always tears sitting in my eyes waiting for the next sad puppy commercial so they can be released.
Pressure to get married increases with each month that passes, but I have yet to find someone who warms my heart like a young Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You. Instead of going out and looking for love, I take myself on dates; learning to love myself and figuring out what brings a genuine smile to my face is my main mission during this decade of my life.
Speaking of learning to love myself, I have a massive fear of gaining weight because I think it’ll make me undesirable… more than the bad parts of me tell me I am. It definitely comes from feeling unloved most of my life, but just like every single person on this planet, I’m a work in progress. It’s very easy for me to be kind to others but incredibly difficult for me to be kind to myself.
To wrap this decently long intro up: Hi, I’m Jamilah. Welcome to my home. 🙂