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My First Prom [At Age 24]

Thanks to my wonderful (please note the sarcasm) new job of being a teacher, I was required to work prom night. I didn’t go to my own prom, so you can only imagine how excited I was to have to go this one.

Still, I found some optimism in the situation. I had a reason to wear a dress I invested too much money in and would have very few reasons to wear.

I wore the bridesmaid dress from the one and only wedding I’ve been in [as an adult].

Considering it was my first prom, it felt like I was overdressed compared to the other faculty and staff. Wearing the bridesmaid dress definitely didn’t help my case with faculty confusing me as a student, which is the reason I wasn’t allowed in a side entrance and had to go in the main entrance to face the awkwardness I was hoping to avoid.

I had to “work” the 9 to 10:45 pm shift. Work is in quotes because I walked around the dance floor a couple of times before promptly picking a corner and standing close to it. I was supposed to be stationed on one side of the DJ booth, but my sensitive ears could not handle it.

About ten minutes after I walked into the main room, which was super RED for some reason (I have no clue what the theme was because the lighting made everything red), it was time to announce the prom queen and king. Well, prom queen and prom kings; there was a tie for prom king, and instead of breaking the tie, both students got a crown and sash.

I stood next to my fellow new teacher friend human ninety-five percent of the night. My teacher friend was also confused for a student; he’s literally twice my age. Like, multiply twenty-four by two, and that’s his age.

While standing in my corner, I did the “Cha Cha Slide.” I was not about to get on the dance floor with those sweaty kids. Kudos to the teachers who did.

Speaking of sweaty kids, three of my students came up to me, which I definitely did not expect, especially since they were all kids I’ve written up and have behavior issues with. One of those students told me about her plan to break up her crush and his girlfriend… To this day, I don’t know what to do with this information.

The second Jack Harlow’s new song came on (the one where he raps about whips and chains but the word “whip” is bleeped out), everyone cleared the dance floor. It was the funniest thing I’ve witnessed in a while; that song promptly ended all dancing. Everyone was vibing to all sorts of old songs, such as “Poison” by Bell Biv DeVoe, and it ended as soon as Jack’s sampled song came on.

Overall, chaperoning this prom made me happy I did not invest in going to my own high school prom.

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