Thanks to my Instagram feed, I have come to learn July 2nd marks the official halfway point of the year.
It’s a shame to see how quickly America can decline in half a year, but I’ll save the politics for a different day.
This is about me today.
The first 183 days of the year were a trial I never thought I’d experience this early in life. Believe it or not, I figured my time of losing everything was bound to happen in my life. I consistently made the “joke” of being homeless when I was in high school, while knowing the power of the tongue. The longer I’ve sat in this era of bouncing around different couches and fighting for a place to call my own, the more I realize I spoke this into existence.
I definitely learned my lesson and am slowly getting better at watching what I say, especially when it pertains to events in my life.
Going back for two seconds. Like I said, I figured this moment in time was bound to happen. I just didn’t think it would be while I’m in my 20s, right after adopting my dog, as soon as I figured out what I want to do with my career.
As a Christian (not the bigot kind), I didn’t lose hope, and I have faith that something even greater is coming after the first 183 days of suck, even though they weren’t all sucky. After all, I turned 26, watched my sister (finally) leave an abusive relationship, realized the kind of impact I’ve been having on the students at school, and discovered the DIVINE frozen mac & cheese from Trader Joe’s.
After this trial, is the greater thing coming the guy I’ve been talking to? Finding my spark and motivation with YouTube? Actually making headway with my creative side hustle? My dream apartment (at least until I move out of this state)? Getting a pay raise for a job I love (veeeery wishful thinking; it is the North Carolina education system after all)?
I’ve been actively trying not to think about what comes next, but I do hope it’s nothing short of joyful, especially with the way my seasonal depression normally acts up in July. I’m hoping to destroy that trend this month, but it’s only day two. As long as I am present and playing with Clover, I should be fine. Worse comes to worse, there are a slew of books around me to take me to alternate places. Plus, I’ve gained a family over the year, so I know I’m not alone (I just need to remember that every time I crash out and start bawling like a newborn).
For the rest of the year to be considered a joyful experience for me, I don’t need to go on a major trip or win the lottery. This is what I need (though I know my joy ultimately comes from the Lord; yes fellow non-bigot Christians, I read the B-I-B-L-E):
- Routine. Routine. Routine. My skincare routine has been in the crapper since I was forced out of my previous apartment in January. Not having any semblance of a morning routine has messed me up, which has messed Clover up.
- All my books. I haven’t seen my investments in months, and I am so ready to get back in the ring and read books from my TBR. One of the lids busted on my book containers in the storage unit, so I brought it to the room I’m subleasing. The smile on my face while I looked through my books could’ve rivaled the sun. However, Book Lovers by Emily Henry was not in that box, and I must find it immediately. It’s a re-read I have planned for the year.
- Not frick up my friend’s wedding. If I haven’t already, I want to get through my friend’s wedding weekend and not be the problem bridesmaid. It’s already bad enough that I’m the spot (please tell me you know what that means).
- Get his phone number. The progression of a romantic relationship is interesting, especially when you’ve been on a virtual date (because it’s long distance) but still don’t have each other’s phone numbers… I really hope we go beyond Instagram Audio before the year ends.
- Sell, period. My new apartment is smaller, in many ways, compared to my previous apartment, and that means it’s time to get rid of stuff. However, instead of donating a bunch of things for Goodwill to get the funds, I am hosting my very first yard sale. The community support has already been tremendous, and it hasn’t even happened yet.
- Reduce the debt. I’m not talking about the debt collectors who keep calling me. (I see you. Tell your family I said hi.) I’m more so talking about the people who have helped me during this very trying time, and I’ve told them I’m going to pay them back. I’m hellbent on reducing my debt list significantly by the end of the year.
- Make one positive mental health stride. You would think this would be my mental health, but I’m going to count it as a win if I can make strides with Clover’s anxiety. Her bowl of water accidentally hit the wall earlier today, and she flew back ten feet. Getting her certified (registered?) as an ESA would also be a win.
There’s always a rainbow after a storm, and after the months long storm I’ve been experiencing, I’m ready for some color.
